When I first heard about this project, I knew I didn't simply want to do a straightforward self-portrait. I wanted to reflect my inner self and emotions - and so I turned to tarot to help convey these thoughts. For a few years now, I've used astrology to help introspect and figure myself out, and only recently have I used tarot for the same purpose. However, the use of tarot has impacted my life in several ways, and so I thought it would be a compelling way to translate my inner self in a self-portrait.
I chose three cards to interpret in a triptych; The Lovers, Three of Swords (reversed, or RX), and The Devil. I chose The Lovers and The Devil because they are my birth cards. Birth cards are calculated through your birthday - MM + DD + YY + YY. My birthday is on March 20, 1999, so I would calculate my birth cards as 03 + 20 + 19 + 99. Your birth cards are supposed to represent constant factors throughout your life, facets of yourself that will always be there. The Lovers and The Devil are mirror cards. Whereas The Lovers celebrates coming together, The Devil appreciates isolation.
I wanted to represent The Lovers through self-love. I have struggled with this my entire life, mostly because of my need to be apart of the group and fit in (something The Lovers traditionally address in its meaning - The Lovers is all about seeing themselves in everything). So, I depicted myself looking into a mirror, touching hands with my reflection - I am connected with my inner self and by being in front of the mirror I am forced to acknowledge and appreciate it. The Devil brings self-isolation (haha) and restriction. It represents what holds you from being the best person you can be. This is why I have it evoking what I did for The Lovers. Rather than me being present and actively appreciating myself in the mirror, all you see is my reflection with a cross through it. I am not seeing my best self, but I don't realize it because of the gilded mirror.
The Three of Swords is in the middle of The Lovers and The Devil mostly because I enjoy bookends. I didn't want the two cards that are supposed to go each other right next to each other, with Three of Swords third-wheeling. Second, Three of Swords takes the issues addressed in The Lovers and The Devil and helps me to overcome them. Three of Swords is depicted reversed in my piece. Reversed cards have different meanings from upright cards. This card, when upright, represents grief, hurt, and sorrow. However, when reversed, it represents releasing pain, optimism, and forgiveness. Throughout my life it has been easy for me to fall into grief and sadness, unable to crawl out of emotional holes I've dug myself. I have the Three of Swords RX tattooed on my body to remind myself I can choose optimism. I can choose happiness. That's why I'm driving in the piece - I am the driver of my own life.
Follow my IG @sophialoren.art! I haven't been too active there, but I'm getting better lol. Two other pieces by me:
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