Self Portrait: HER

Britley Blessitt

Final: HER Artist Statement

My self-portrait is a combination of everything that describes me and features spoken poetry. When I was two years old, I was diagnosed with amblyopia and soon had to wear eye patches. I hated wearing my eye patch, I would feel like the female version of Captain Hook. I would have to wear one patch growing up so I would be forced to use and strengthen my weaker eye. I never wanted eye surgery to correct my eyes because I was scared the operation would go wrong. But more importantly I reached a point in my life where I stopped caring about it. One eye is bigger than the other and one eye is lazy. Most of my childhood, I went to church almost every Sunday with my mom and older siblings. One thing I learned for sure is that God will love you no matter who you are or what you have done. Because of my eyes, growing up, people would look through me instead of directly at me. I had to learn how to wear invisible earplugs that would tune out their hate and negativity.  When I had finally learned how to walk, my parents noticed that I walked with my right foot inward. This would lead to shoe insoles and the inability of wearing high heels. When I was four years old, I used to shake at times so I was wrapped in white cloth that smelled like kofal and put on a seizure watch. In a medium size room, I watched, bandaged up, as my parents and doctors waited on the other side to record my movements. After 48 hours I was released and nothing major was found that would cause a permanent stay at the hospital. I was not a premature baby however I was told that I have low muscle tone. Growing up, I was also viewed differently because of my weight. People would look at me and ask “Are you bulimic” or “Why are you so anorexic?” I received such ignorant comments all because I happened to have a fast metabolism. However, I did not let what I had experienced stop me. I found love and I found love in myself. I smile it off and love myself harder than the day before. My smile is one of my favorite features about myself. My smile uplifts me every single day, that’s why it was so important to have in my video. Once I started loving myself completely, my life had become so much brighter and fulfilling. I found a way to also express myself with the use of poetry. I love to write and read poetry. A few of my favorite poets are Maya Angelou, Walt Whitman, William Shakespeare, and Emily Dickinson. I was truly able to formulate my self portrait by listening to Indie Arie. I love her soulful, soothing, passionate and empowering voice. She is one of my favorite artists that I constantly listen to. Her song “Video” is inspiring because it represents self-awareness, self-confidence and self love. 

When viewing my self-portrait, you may wonder why I have other people in my video. I truly feel I would not be the woman I am today with those people. I would also not be here if it was not for my parents. I am myself and they are all a part of that “self”. In a poem I once wrote, I described my family as the players in the game of chess. My dad would be the king, my mom is the queen, my brother is the knight and my sister is the bishop. When I started at college, I met my closest, best friends and they have taught me so many important lessons. I also love all the random chill hangouts and the best food dates a girl could ever ask for. This video means the world to me because I have pictures of me where I’m happy and loving what I see. When I was younger, I used to hate looking in the mirror and taking pictures.  I reference my work to Judith Howard’s research and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Feminist Manifesto. Howard describes that our identities come from our surroundings, objects, and our interactions. She also wrote how identities are constantly evolving and expanding. I am growing everyday and I can’t wait to see the woman that I will become. In Adichie’s suggestions, she explained how important it is to have a sense of identity and understand your culture. Over the years, I have learned to truly accept, understand, and love myself. Honestly to me, that is the best gift that I could ever have.