Self-Portrait: How film became a part of me

For my Self-Portrait, I was struggling while trying to decide what I wanted to talk about. I never really looked into myself often and recognize my past achievements on how it made me the person I am today. However, because of this quarantine, I believe this would be the right time to self evaluate and really just dig into the vault and remind myself of why I am on the journey that I am currently on today. The object of interest that inspired me to write this is my first video camera that I bought a few months back. Unfortunately, I haven't exactly used this camera as much as I desired because of the quarantine. However, looking at my camera after one of our online classes and looking back on my previous projects in high school and community college, this gave me the inspiration to write my self-portrait about it.

In 2013, I was a freshman in high school. Being the small fish in a big pond again, it wasn't exactly the greatest time while trying to find what I wanted to be and attempting to fit in with a bunch of new kids from different middle schools. The high school I went to combined the kids from my middle school, and two other middle schools that were closer to the high school. Freshman year was also my first introduction into video editing. It was an intro course, so there was some restrictions to what you can do, but it was meant to be a class for you to learn the basics of video editing and camera use. At first, this didn't interest me because I was initially looking to go for nursing and this was something to help me get by during freshman year. This would be a blimp on the radar until senior year, where I wanted to choose an elective that I wanted to do, and video editing was the first thing that came to mind. With this course, it was an advanced video editing class and didn't have as many limitations compared to the intro course. I had so much fun filming and acting in the projects my group and other groups did. This was when my love for film started and I knew what to do next. 

After high school, I went to Brookdale Community College in Lincroft. During my 2 years at Brookdale, I can easily say those were the best moments I've had while filming projects. I drove to places like Keyport to make a short film about a coffee shop that featured live performances every Wednesday night. I filmed a chase scene where one of my friends was the chaser and the one being chased. I filmed projects with classmates that challenged the imagination and thinking of scenarios based on the criteria we were given. These are moments that I will always cherish for the memories I had while filming them.

Fast-forward to present day, I completed a documentary production course with Professor Edin Velez, the head of the video department. He is someone who will tell you flat out how he feels about your videos, which I always liked. In my opinion, it always taught me to be aware of what I was doing while filming on set and recognizing the importance of lighting, the dimensions and the footage you are taking. I plan on taking narrative production next spring.

For the picture, the center photo is a picture of me holding my camera up and ready to film something. To me, this symbolizes me and my passion for film and the joy I get while filming a project I am interested in. As for the other photos, it is meant to be a collage of projects I did back in high school and Brookdale. When I look at my camera, these are some of the memories that come back into my head and remind me why I like film and the way it made me the person I am today.

I've understood that film is more than just point and shoot, and making silly videos about random things. Throughout history, film has influenced many people of many ages of things we would never believe if they wasn't any footage of it, like the first man landing on the moon, the terrors of the Vietnam war, the racial discrimination between African Americans and police in Los Angeles in 1992, etc. Film has been able to become something that captures us and persuades us of something we may have never realized before. In "Between the World and Me", Ta-nehisi wanted his son and his readers to know the truth about racial discrimination and the importance of speaking out and recognizing the negative effects of discrimination. To me, I believe film has become another form of expressing yourself and being able to expose the truth of negative things going on in the world. Many things have changed in span of a decade since video cameras became more accessible and smartphones becoming more accessible as well. We as a nation have the ability to let out our voices and the opportunity to have those voices be heard more than any other generation before us.

As for my identity, I'm not really sure what you could label me, but if I had to say what it would be, it would have to be an entertainer. My main focus is to try and make people feel something, whether that be happiness, sadness, anger or laughter. If I can make someone feel something about my work, then I believe my job is done. Seeing people feel a certain way to what I make can be fuel for me to make more content. It gives me purpose and allows me to believe I can really exist and make an impact on someone's life.