Self discovery (portrait)

To begin with, my self-portrait is two ink sketches of my own reflection that I have done of myself. The one above is me now and the other is me as a child and both tell a story although very similar to each other. When creating both images and sticking to the prompt and reading to relate, I decided to base this self-portrait on the reading "Social Psychology of Identities" by Judith Howard. Before going into how exactly both images relate to the reading I want to dive deep into its meaning in identity to myself. The image of the kid is me, for I always wear clothes similar to what the character has on and you see him pointing to a mask stating "I want this one". It's as if the mask and child were meant to be. The mask being its protection, comfortability, and desire for one answer: What is our purpose. This kid until this day wears this mask as seen in the picture above it. The character (me) finds comfort in the moon, darkness, and stars and he is still searching for this answer but as he grows he overall mindset accepts that there is no answer. As inspiring artists and tattoo artists, ink sketching and drawing is absolutely my life and as my art is completed I tend to take on a different person and mindset. My mother was my biggest inspiration and influence since the first day I saw her painting a bowl of fruit in the kitchen. I thought it was unbelievable she had started off on a blank canvas and it translated later into something much more as she progressed. I never enjoyed using a pencil or paint but I tried different mediums and when I found artists pens or in other terms micron, I felt like I found the missing part of my identity. Once my journey with ink sketching began I never stopped and it became my life and career. While thinking of exactly what to draw before I did I knew I wanted to connect it back to the reading "Social Psychology of Identities" but while drawing it reminded me of my manifesto that I created for my son. In Howard's written piece she speaks in extensive information on the identity and how psychologically, environmentally, culturally, and much more can shape one's identity. Basically on how one speaks, language, thought process and etc. Art is my identity. Without it, I wouldn't know who I was. Without it, I wouldn't have forged the person and met the people I know today that have helped me develop a creative and open mindset for my dreams and especially the world that surrounds me. The mask is my shield but its part of me and through this mask, my world view has changed immensely in a positive light and although we are all or only some are still searching for their purpose in life including myself I can conclude that since I put my art mask on, I have become who I've always wanted to be. Although it is difficulty choosing who you want to be at times according to Howard ethnic identity and the self-esteem ethnic groups hold are constantly fluctuating and there is no concrete answer. Why would there be? Many parents ethnic or not believe in strong normative stereotypical male gender roles making it difficult for a man to want to be into fashion, paint their nails, pursue a career in art and dye their hair. Putting the mask on myself in the self-portrait was protection since I was a kid but through it I discovered myself and that all those "feminine" actions that are looked down upon should be encouraged and embraced. Through my art, through my mask and can't forget Howard I learned a lot about who I am and how the world is and that is my self-portrait.