Self Portrait: I am Enough.

I am Enough.

“Andrew Yang: We Asian Americans are not the virus, but we can be part of the cure” was released in the midst of the COVID-19 outbreak, and I thought that this was the piece that can draw attention and boost morale. Now I was excited to read this, I thought this man was going to stand up for us. I mean, this man was a Democratic candidate in the 2020 presidential race and an entrepreneur, he must know his stuff! But if only I knew what I was getting myself into. 

His piece was muntane and bland. He said " The truth is that people are wired to make attributions based on appearance, including race. The best thing that could happen for Asians would be to get this virus under control so it isn't a problem anymore Then any racism would likely fade."Instead of offering a piece of advice to hold those accountable or even to raise morale, he told us to prove and embrace our “Americanness.” And that we should be doing more on the front lines. Proving to someone else my so-called “Americanness” is not my job nor is it doing anything to protect and help my community. He’s telling us to fall back into the senseless stereotype of a submissive, spineless model minority. A mold I never let myself follow. 

It’s not unknown that violence in the Asian community is prominent and under reported. It’s something that I’ve known. It doesn’t sound the most reliable, but I follow NextShark on Instagram and they share current news surrounding Asians and Asian Americans. This page was made solely on the fact Asians are underrepresented in all platforms, including news. However, the one news that truly broke my heart was seeing a video of a woman being harassed on her front porch, throwing out her garbage in Brooklyn, New York. This incident took place only a few blocks from my childhood home. The one I oh- so proudly claim my home, still to this day although I live in New Jersey.

I grew up in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, where the Chinese bakery would be across the street from J&V’s pizzeria and the 18th Street N train stop. My neighbors were Chinese, Italian, Russian, Puerto Rican and so much more. I look back and thought I was blessed to be exposed to such an environment. Moving to New Jersey, going to school here was my first taste in first- hand racism. Back in Brooklyn, we all made jokes, but that was within our ethnic groups, something we did to suppress the stereotypes and to make fun. Things were different in New Jersey, there was a kid who questioned if I got my eyes done. I asked what he meant, and he answered that my eyes couldn’t be real because they were too big. He then proceeded to pull his eyes back to show me what they should look like. And keep in mind, this school, this town has a bunch of Asian people of different backgrounds, he was exposed to Asian kids. I get kids will be kids, but racists will be racists. 

For the past 21 years of life, I’ve been living my Asian- American life. My first language was Cantonese, I had to take ESL for a year in elementary school, I was somewhat good in math, and I hate driving (I prefer taking the subway anyday). I had to help translate government documents and help translate what my grandparents said to our Italian neighbors. I went to public school, I was almost going to be like everyone else, where school had to give me a student MetroCard to go to school. But I just had to move to Jersey and take a bright yellow school bus. On the bright side, I made my lifelong friends, but I still really wanted that MetroCard. I had dim-sum on one hand and a pizza on the other. I don’t know about other kids, but I certainly had a diverse palette. But my point is, isn’t the point of being American able to embrace all types of cultures? Isn’t American known as a melting pot? Because it seems to be a bowl of oil and water. There’s so much divide that wasn’t meant to be. I am proof that I am American. I don’t need anyone else to validate me. I can vouch for myself, I am American enough. Better yet, I’m Asian American and I am enough. 

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Artist Statement

This was my reaction to Andrew Yang’s opinion piece on the Washington Post (https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/04/01/andrew-yang-coronavirus-discrimination/ ). Undoubtedly, COVID-19 has brought pain and suffering around the world, my family included. But also opened the door to racism and violence to those of Asian diaspora. It’s a scary time, and I understand the fear. But the fear and anger pointed to Asians are uncalled for. As a person in the same minority, I was angry by the fact that Yang had basically implied that instead of holding people accountable for their actions, we should simply turn the other cheek and be better. In some cases, I would. But not when we are in a time where people think they have a perfectly backed up reason to look at us as dirty, worthless nothings.  

Referencing back to the book we read in class, Ta Nehisi Coates Between the World and Me. I felt inspired by his stories and experiences and felt that our stories need to be heard by either one one person or one community. It lets others know it’s ok to share, and that someone else out there felt the same way. 

This self portrait I created was to show my validation. But I wrote to show I am enough as an Asian- American, and that I’m as American as my neighbors, friends, colleagues, and professors. But in my 21 years, which I know isn’t much, I know for a fact I have every right as the next person as an American and that I shouldn’t have to do more to prove more. I am validating my being and my Americanness with my experiences and not through my blue passport, social security or any of my government documents. 
What I chose to identity as has always been with me. My grandparents made sure of that. And if I have to say so myself, they did damn good. They always made sure I spoke well enough in Cantonese so that I could at least make my point through with another person. But they always encouraged me to be open minded, in terms with the who I might meet in the future. They taught me to look at a person's personality not their looks or race. I was blessed with that, and I thank them for that. Anyone who can judge based on race is beyond me.
I understand it is a time of uncertainty and people are scared. But they have to understand that severity of the virus. A virus doesn't infect based on looks, race, gender, or which identity, all can be infected. The only thing I can say is be mindful, respectful to all and to stay safe and healthy. We're all scared, and we've all have been impacted someway.